Break free from the vicious cycle of abuse in teen relationships

Teenage is that new beginning phase of our lives where our hormones are at their peak and we are curious to explore everything around us. Teenage years are often marked by new experiences, including the exploration of romantic relationships. While these relationships can be exciting and fulfilling, they can also be filled with challenges, especially when abuse enters the picture. Recognizing the cycle of abuse in teen relationships is crucial for understanding what is “okay” in a relationship and what is not. 

The term “red flag” has swept social media right, left and centre. While thousands of relatable memes have been made about this concept, it is vital to understand the real meaning of this lightly used phrase. When we look around, we see many teens engaged in intense relationships, wearing their hearts on their sleeves. They need to be aware of what practices are healthy in a relationship. They need to know when to draw the line and back out. Toxicity in relationships should never be entertained. 

The Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Board has chalked out a cycle of abuse commonly noticed in today's teen relationships that consists of these stages. If you notice these signs or know of someone with a similar pattern in their relationships, it's time to widen your eyes to the real truth. Take a look at our Gytree Programs including “The Emotional Wellness” program open up and cole with the tensions of your strained relationship.

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1. The Honeymoon Phase:

At the beginning of a relationship, everything may seem perfect. A relationship is very different from a situationship. The perfect DDLJ music playing in the background whilst you have completely lost yourself in love. Teens may experience intense emotions and feelings of love, excitement, happiness and affection towards their partner. You turn a blind eye to any mistakes or problems that may arise. This phase, known as the honeymoon phase, is characterized by harmony, passion, and the belief that their relationship is perfect and unbreakable. 

2. Developing Tension :

As the relationship goes forward, tension, anxiety and apprehension may start to build. Small disagreements or conflicts may arise, leading to arguments and exaggerated fights. During this phase, communication may become strained, and teens may feel a sense of unease or discomfort. They start to realize that maybe they are not the right match for each other. They stop communicating openly, start suppressing their feelings and close themselves in a shell.

3. The Outburst:

The tension develops and progresses to such a point that it is on the verge of breaking point, leading to an explosive incident of abuse. This could manifest as verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. The abuser may use manipulation, pressure, or threats to exert control over their partner, leaving the victim feeling scared, confused, and powerless. When one partner dominates and asserts over the other with such power, it is time to walk away. Call for help via these helpline numbers if any episode of violence or abuse goes beyond control.

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4. Reconciliation:

Following the abusive incident, the abuser may express remorse and apologize to their partner. They may promise to change their behaviour and make efforts to reconcile. The victim may feel relieved by the abuser's apologies and gestures of affection, leading them to believe that the abuse was an isolated incident. This behaviour of being too heavy and assertive at one moment and innocent and apologetic the next minute is a big red flag. 

5. Repeat:

Unfortunately, the cycle of abuse often repeats itself, with the relationship returning to the honeymoon phase before escalating into tension and abuse once again. Over time, the abuse may become more frequent and severe, causing lasting harm to the victim's physical and emotional well-being. This vicious cycle is toxic and never-ending. The assertive partner is confident that whatever may happen they will always find their way back to their partner. They start taking their partner for granted and take advantage of their existence. 

Recognizing Red Flags:

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Teens need to be aware of the red flags of abuse in relationships. These may include controlling behaviour, jealousy, isolation from friends and family, threats, intimidation, and physical violence. Trusting one's instincts and seeking support from trusted adults can help teens identify and address abusive behaviour early on.

Ask for Help:

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse in a teen relationship, it's essential to seek help and support. Learn to stand up for yourself and say NO! Talk to a trusted adult, such as a parent, teacher, or counsellor, who can provide guidance and assistance. There are also hotlines and organizations available to offer support and resources for teens experiencing abuse. Consult our Gytree Therapists and experts and ask for help if you seem to be experiencing the same signs of abuse. 

By recognizing the signs of abuse, seeking help, and advocating for healthy relationships, teens can break free from the cycle of abuse and build meaningful and respectful relationships that stand on the pillars of trust, communication, and mutual respect.